NO MATTER HOW BAD IT IS TODAY, TOMORROW WILL BE WORSE

The Navy Seals have a slogan, "The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday".  Now I was never a Navy Seal and never could have been one, since the willingness to get on an airplane is a requirement.  I actually thought about it once, after college.  I could drop and do 100 pushups with no problem, could run like the wind for 6 miles and swam like a fish.  But two things prevented me, one was my fear of flying and two is I just don't like taking orders from anyone.  Ask anyone I use to work for.

Order me to do something and I ask why, ask me for a favor and I'll go thru hell and back in a gasoline overcoat for you.

But I thought of that slogan the other day, when I realized I came up with a slogan that pretty much encapsulates life of a caretaker of someone with Alzheimer's:  "No matter how bad it is today, tomorrow it will be worse".  And that pretty much sums things up of late.  So when I have a day of making breakfast, cleaning carpet and a bathroom, cleaning sheets, dumping Depends, putting on gloves several times to clean and pull crap out of an ass, listening to endless repetitions of the same questions and comments dozens of times, putting someone to bed, having them get up 5 minutes later, and spending 8 in the evening to 12 midnight waiting for him to get up to be put to bed again and called names like "idiotic asshole" and other such colorful things for my efforts and lying awake until 2 to make sure he is asleep and then being awaken at 8 in the morning to repeat the whole process again, I wake, knowing, whatever happens today, it will be worse than yesterday.  And it's been depressing, the realization that it won't be better, there is no light at the end of the tunnel, it is just going to get worse and I better learn to suck it up.  As I wrote earlier in a blog, hope is something a caretaker cannot afford, it just crushes you every time.  And yet, as the caretaker, all I can do is endure whatever is thrown at me, which thankfully, so far, hasn't been a handful of shit.  Yet.

One must keep life in perspective.  A regular poster on Keith Koeffer's blog just announced she has cancer and my prayers are with her, for the healing grace of God and the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to touch her and heal her of her disease.  I wouldn't want to trade places with her.  And Belgium just euthanized twin men who were deaf and finding out they both were about to go blind, they chose to end it all and the government was more than happy to help; government health care coming soon to a hospital near you.  Many European countries euthanized Alzheimer's patients which I'm glad is still illegal in this country because there have been some moments….

I know a great career field that will soon boom in this country; the Advocate.  In many European countries, people hire advocates to protect their rights and wishes when they are going into the hospital because they don't trust the doctors or their family members.  The government wants you dead and off the budget; the doctors want your organs for high paying organ transplants and the family wants your life insurance.  Only trust the dog when in Rome.

And poor Bosco, my dog.  He has to pick up on the stress and stuff going on yet all he does is hang around, and when it's over, will come over and put his head on my lap so I can pet him.  Personification of what God' love is like for us, in a dog.  I know, but is canninification a word?  Doesn't matter what you look like, how your day is going, just hangs around to love you when you are ready.  And a dog's games involve a ball, a sock, tug of war.  Peoples games are much more complicated.  If there was evolution, I'm sorry, but the dogs are farther along than man.

Obama spoke today but I didn't pay a wit of attention to him.  I don't care anymore.  He is going to act like a king, sign executive orders to get what he wants, and dare the courts to stop him.  There is a conspiracy theory of alien reptilian people who can look human but are really reptilian and I've never paid much attention to those theories but when I see Obama now I can almost see the reptile in his face and eyes.  The only thing to do is buy supplies, hunker down, and pray for God's protection from such evil.

Back to pop.  Those sleeping pills the doctor prescribed, don't work.  Nor do the over the counter things which are really nothing more than Benedryl mixed with the painkiller; like Motrin PM.  Last night I gave him one of my Xanax and that seemed to work a little better, so I need to talk to the doc about getting him a prescript for them too. Well, he slept longer with fewer walk arounds, but he did do a face plant into the wall and has a small bruise on his forehead.  That's two falls in four days, tomorrow will be worse.   Plus, I talked to RR retirement lately and after explaining things got a great big stack of paperwork I need to fill out.  Seems they don't recognized power of attorney stuff and now I've got to get a doc to sign off my dad is nuts and fill out a 20 page form and then the checks will be sent to me instead of him.  Not sure how that is going to change the tax stuff, but I'm pretty sure I'll be getting it up the butt somehow.  All I wanted to to was notify them of the change of address, but it's the government and nothing is ever easy with the government.

When the world and I were young, just yesterday,
Life was such a simple game, a child could play.
It was easy then to tell right from wrong,
Easy then to tell weak from strong,
When a man should stand and fight or just go along.

But today there is no day or night,
Today there is no dark or light,
Today there is no black or white, only shades of gray.

I remember when the answer seemed so clear,
We had never lived with doubt or tasted fear.
It was easy then to tell truth from lies,
Selling-out from compromise,
Who to love and who to hate, the foolish from the wise.

But today there is no day or night,
Today there is no dark or light,
Today there is no black or white, only shades of gray.

The Monkees